That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
