she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize