Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
