Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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