Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
