too bad you live with your parents still
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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