tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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