In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
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