oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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