I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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