dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
