I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
