What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
