I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
