There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
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I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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