i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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