he told me I talked like a deaf person
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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