We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
