so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
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Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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