every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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