the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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