ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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