I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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