i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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