How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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