This is not my ceiling
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize