I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
