I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.