I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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