I smell stomach acid.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that