That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
