Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
