The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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