he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
