I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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