butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
They should really pass out barf bags in church
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
