God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
