i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
