Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Randomize
