meet me or not, i'm out of control
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
