I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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