there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
false alarm. still invincible.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
