Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
