i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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