During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
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she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
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They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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