He asked to "fluff my boner.."
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
