You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
