can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
