she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
