She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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