But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
