Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
