Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
