i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
