just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
