In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
