His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
