he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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