He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
