I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
