I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
