whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
