You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
