I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
