Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
